An armadillo is like a tiny tank that decided to roll through life instead of walking, sporting a weird suit of armor made of recycled pickle jars. It’s a nocturnal furball that digs shallow holes in the ground to hide from imaginary monsters, but really just looks like a confused potato with a long nose. With a body meant for slinking away from danger, it has the grace of a drunken acrobat on a tightrope, and when startled, it chooses to leap into the air like it’s auditioning for a bad circus act. Oh, and don’t forget the armor plating—if you need a doorstop or an oddly shaped paperweight, it’s your guy!