A guinea pig is basically a tiny, round, furry potato that squeaks instead of rolling. Imagine a very confused rodent that decided to become a couch potato but never figured out how to get off the couch. It has small, awkward limbs that do little more than carry its plump body around. These little guys are also like vacuum cleaners with hair, constantly eating hay and pellets while making squealy noises as if they're always in a dramatic soap opera. Oh, and their biggest life goal seems to be to test how many different types of bedding they can burrow into before giving up and flopping over to nap.