The Neapolitan Mastiff is like a giant, floppy couch that somehow developed legs and a personality. It has a face that looks like it’s pondering the mysteries of the universe while simultaneously being very confused. Its skin, reminiscent of a well-loved, oversized piece of wrinkled fabric, hangs off its body like it just lost a wrestling match with a laundry basket. This gentle giant weighs more than your average small car and moves with the grace of a baby elephant on roller skates. It’s basically a living, breathing teddy bear that could probably take down a tree if it felt like it—so good luck getting it to move if it decides it wants to take a nap!