A turkey is like a big, plump chicken that forgot how to fly and decided to strut around like a feathered peacock. It has a goofy waddle, a head that looks like it lost a fight with a hammer, and a colorful neck that might be trying too hard to stand out at a party. When it makes noise, it sounds like a strange mix of a honk and a cough, as if it’s perpetually confused about what it wants to say. It’s basically the awkward relative of the bird family that shows up to Thanksgiving dinner, just waiting to be roasted.